And now I know just what to pack:

Pervert-Proof Panties

For years, schoolgirls have had to be vigilant about jerks with cameras trying to get a panchira (panty-glimpse) up their skirts. But they have an even creepier problem now: Clever degenerates are modifying their videocam’s night-vision mode to see right through fabric, revealing all. Enter textile company Cramer Japan, which has developed a nylon and polyurethane weave that blocks infrared rays. The result? ShotGuard Inner Shorts, panties that are impervious to pervs. Adding to the deterrent is that the $17 underwear is available only in a fetish-stifling beige. Next up for Cramer: voyeur-resistant bras.

(Comment about my favorite gold digging media whore Heather Mills)

“Heather has a very unusual erogenous zone - her stump. I used to massage one particular area and it gave her an orgasm.”

Eww.

Lolita love affair scandalises Italy