As a huge fan of Shakespear’s writing, this just makes me want to §$%§!!!
Sarah Palin Proudly Confuses Her Illiteracy With Genius
My favorite comment to this article:
A Dumbass by any other name would still be as fucking stupid.
I think this product has more brains than the real thing:
(Click HERE for background music)
Man caught smuggling 18 monkeys in girdle
MEXICO CITY — A man with a mysterious bulge under his T-shirt was stopped, searched and detained at Mexico City’s international airport after authorities found 18 tiny endangered monkeys in a girdle he was wearing.
The Public Safety Department said in a statement Monday that 38-year-old Roberto Cabrera arrived on a commercial flight Friday from Lima, Peru, when authorities noticed the bulge and conducted a body search.
The department says Cabrera was carrying the 6-inch titi monkeys in pouches attached to the girdle. Two of the monkeys were dead.
Cabrera was arrested on charges of trafficking an endangered species.
Cabrera told authorities he was carrying the monkeys in a suitcase but decided to put them in his girdle “so the X-rays wouldn’t hurt them.”
Source: The Associated Press
Thanks, Lynda!
Ever wonder why social networking sites like Facebook aren’t full of porn and gross images like the ones you’d find on rotten.com? (I purposely didn’t put a hyperlink on rotten.com - go there only if you want nauseating images burned into your brain)
Policing the Web’s Lurid Precincts
“You have 20-year-old kids who get hired to do content review, and who get excited because they think they are going to see adult porn,” said Hemanshu Nigam, the former chief security officer at MySpace. “They have no idea that some of the despicable and illegal images they will see can haunt them for the rest of their lives.”
(But not until they’d finished mopping the floor)
Jesus rode a dinosaur.
Dad, did dinosaurs really exist?
Sure they did, son. The Bible says so. They didn’t call them “dinosaurs” back then, but instead they were known as “leviathans” or “behemoths”.
But, my science teacher says dinosaurs lived millions of years ago. Is that true?
Of course not, son.
Then how old are they?
Well, let’s see. The Bible tells us [from Adam and Eve’s family tree] that the Universe is only a few thousand years old. So dinosaurs had to have lived within the past few thousand years. That’s simple logic, son.
Oh. So that means they were on Noah’s Ark?
Absolutely! The Bible says two of every animal were brought [by God] to the ark. Dinosaurs were animals. So, using your logic again son, dinosaurs had to be on the ark.
Huh. So how come scientists say they’re older than that? and died way before Jesus?
Well, son, they just make that up. Dinosaur bones don’t have labels on them to tell how old they are. In fact, there is no proof whatsoever that the world and its fossil layers are millions of years old. No scientist saw dinosaurs die-
Dad!
No I’m serious. Scientists only find the bones in the here and now, and because many of them are evolutionists, they try to fit the story of the dinosaurs into their view.
That’s sad. But I thought scientists were smart?
Sure, but they don’t know everything. So they have to make stuff up to fit their beliefs. While you and I, we have the facts, straight from the Bible.
I don’t want to be a scientist!
Ha! That’s ok, son. It’s better to be right, than smart. C’mon, wanna learn how to flip burgers like your Dad?
Yeah!
Source:
Beginner’s Bible Coloring Book!
More proof of Jesus’ special relationship with dinosaurs:
Proof that Jesus does believe in dinosaurs - and that dinosaurs believe in Him!
Either that or we are looking at the sheep version of one of those expensive hairless cats for allergic kids and eccentrics.
1. Clowns and Santa Clauses and parents who make their children go near them or even sit on their laps. Hey, don’t talk to strangers, kids, but if he’s wearing makeup or red Pajamas it’s totally okay.
“As adults we make assumptions about what works for children,” said Penny Curtis, a senior lecturer in research at the university. “We found that clowns are universally disliked by children. Some found them quite frightening and unknowable.” (Reuters) Don’t send in the clowns
It’s perplexing how the same parent who will force a frightened, crying child to sit in Santa Claus’s lap, is also the same parent who will shield this child’s ears from thunder or comfort the child when a big dog barks at him or her. Child Afraid of Santa Claus? Parents’ Guidelines
2. Disney movies and the messages they convey to young children.
Okay, I’ll admit it. I am completely and perversely fascinated with the whole Mel Gibson / Oksana Grigorieva drama. If you haven’t been following it, here’s a brief summary: Mel left his wife of godknowshowmany years for Oksana, they had a baby together, later they split up. Oksana first claimed Mel hit her in the face, then “mysteriously”, several recorded phone calls featuring Mel and Oksana were released.
In these recordings, Mel is huffing and puffing, shouting and swearing, being racist/sexist, and basically just acting nuttier than a sack of weasels. Which is why I find the recordings so fascinating. That is, pitiful at the same time. Mel is clearly in severe psychological distress and having an emotional meltdown, yet we’re all laughing about it. Well, maybe if he weren’t such a bigoted asshole, I’d actually feel sorry for him.
My favorite quote:
Ok, I’ll burn the goddamn house up, but blow me first!
Yeah, there’s a man who’s got his priorities straight. So now the internet is running rampant with memes.
Here’s my favorite one:
Update: If you want to read excerpts of Mel’s rants, presented by adorable kittens to make them more palatable, clicke here: The 20 Worst Mel Gibson Rant Quotes (Presented By Kittens)
reblogged rom Yahoo…Answers?
I’m sure having this sticker on my suitcase will make going through airport security much more entertaining!
Take a stand against monotonous travel with Suitcase Stickers. Designed to stick to anything, they will draw attention to your bag making it easily identifiable and sure to make you some new friends.
Caution: Some of these stickers may cause offense to airport and immigration staff. But you would have figured that out whilst enjoying those cavity searches.
I just stumbled upon a news story about Simon Cowell, prominent English guy (for what I can’t remember – America’s Got Talent?) supporting the Katie Piper fund.
When I read the story I remembered where I’ve seen her – I saw a Channel 4 documentary about her a while back and was absolutely amazed at how brave she is and what a horrible ordeal she’s had to go through.
To make the story short (as as much as I remember from the film) she was a model and TV presenter, dating someone who seemed really nice but turned out to be the ultimate nightmare. After he’d raped her for hours, she made it home and broke off contact with him but was too afraid to press charges. Days later he had a friend wait for her outside her apartment and throw acid into her face, permanently disfiguring her.
The acid burned through all four layers of skin on her face, some spilled down her throat and she was left blind in one eye.
She has undergone more than 40 operations on her face and throat including groundbreaking surgery at Chelsea and Westminster Hospital.
I remember seeing that documentary and wondering if I would ever recover from that sort of thing – she had her whole life ahead of her, everything going for her – she was (still is, I think) beautiful, had a great career going, fun friends, etc. – and ended up in horrendous pain, needing constant care from her parents and countless operations. And for what, just because she had the misfortune of dating a lunatic. After the assault, she was afraid to leave the house, obviously everyone stared, but she made it. Would you? Would I? I don’t know. I think I might’ve spiraled into a life-long “why me?!” depression.
Until I read the news story with Cowell, I didn’t realize she’s started a fund. Treatment for people with severe burns and scars is enormously expensive and not every insurance covers it. Many victims have to live with the disfigurement fort the rest of their lives and simply can’t afford any help to get through it – this help would include treatments but also psychotherapy, or even makeup classes (there is such thing as „camouflage“ makeup, for example). It’s not only about trying to heal the wounds as best as possible but also rebuilding victims’ self-esteem and dealing with the way they look now, dealing with the looks they get from other people.
The foundation’s vision is to create a n advanced burn and scar management and rehabilitation clinic in the UK accessible to anybody who would benefit from specialised treatments. This will include daily pressure therapy using controlled, standardised and customised care with the help of LPG Endermologie machines, manual massage, physiotherapy, hydrotherapy and silicone treatment.
The clinic will also be a place where people can learn to overcome the psychological barriers of living with disfigurement and concentrate on rebuilding their lives.
The foundation also aims to offer non-medical advice to empower people and build up their confidence by showing them how to look and feel their best again. This would include professional lessons on camouflage makeup and hair styling as well as a mentorship program that brings burns survivors together to support each other.
Yeah, I guess there are tons of other worthy causes – children starving, our world as we know it being ruined (thank you, BP), but pick whichever one you feel a connection to, I say. Helping any cause at all is better than doing nothing. Lots of people who have lost loved ones to cancer support cancer causes; if you have friends or family who have been disfigured by burns, this might be a good cause for you to support. I don’t personally know anyone who has been disfigured, by the way, but I just find her story very inspirational. Maybe because I saw the film, I don’t know.
Here’s more info:
Just my 2 cents for today…
