Nothing says “I love you” like a pile of crap. Literally.

For a limited time, One FREE Regular size piece of Fake Dog Poop will be sent with your order !!!

Woohoo!

Seen at brownfido.com

Poop Freeze Aerosol Freeze Spray

Seriously. Living in a country where there are more dogs than children and the streets are littered with proof of it, I’m sure this will totally come in handy.

I think I’ll give this to my Dad for father’s day - his name IS John, after all.

Inflatable toast mattress

would a book like this be published (no joke):

A must-have for any mother with young children considering undergoing plastic surgery.

Dr. Michael Salzhauer, a renowned plastic surgeon, wrote My Beautiful Mommy to help patients explain their transformation to their children. The story guides children through Mommy’s surgery and healing process in a friendly, nonthreatening way.

I simply must have the Disinfecting UV Scanner

Protect your family from colds, flu, and germs such as E. coli. Portable scanner instantly disinfects doorknobs, faucets, computer keyboards and mouse, phones. Just wave it over the item-kills 99.9% of germs in seconds. Great for travel and everyday use. Uses 4 AAA batteries (not included). Folds to just 4 1/2″ long to fit in included carry pouch.

I’m a bit worried about the remaining 0.1%, though.

Hopping & Yodelling Lederhosen

Just press the button on the 4″ long, plastic knockwurst and watch in joyous astonishment as the lederhosen hops around and sings a merry little yodel.

R2-D2 trash can

Seen at ThinkGeek.com

Let Dr. Ed van Pelt (say that without laughing) help you.

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