And now I know just what to pack:

Pervert-Proof Panties

For years, schoolgirls have had to be vigilant about jerks with cameras trying to get a panchira (panty-glimpse) up their skirts. But they have an even creepier problem now: Clever degenerates are modifying their videocam’s night-vision mode to see right through fabric, revealing all. Enter textile company Cramer Japan, which has developed a nylon and polyurethane weave that blocks infrared rays. The result? ShotGuard Inner Shorts, panties that are impervious to pervs. Adding to the deterrent is that the $17 underwear is available only in a fetish-stifling beige. Next up for Cramer: voyeur-resistant bras.

but still funny:

Seen on Judaism.com

Plush Plagues Bag
Includes all 10 plagues!

Ages 3 & up Keeps the kids entertained during Passover. This plush yellow plagues bag contains representations for all of the plagues (not necessarily in the correct order):

* A spooky eyed drop of blood
* A Frog for frogs—of course
* A Giant Lice for lice.
* Cow for cattle disease
* Black Locust for locusts
* A white satin lump of hail
* A black cube of darkness
* An icky boil on a piece of flesh!
* A snarling lion’s head for wild beasts
* and last of all a very sad head - for death of the first born.
*

The frog, lice, cow and locust wriggle and roll their eyes, quiver, buzz and move when you pull their string and are apx 4.5″ long.

The Lookin’ good for Jesus kit

“Redeems you in his eyes and takes the edge off sinning. Our glorious kit contains a mirrored Jesus statuette, vanilla nectar lip balm, Easter-Lily hand & body cream (with sparkle!) and a folding mirror compact.”

You might also want to try the Believe in God instantly breath spray

Sex-toy for dogs

Yes, it’s a sex doll for dogs. It’s shaped like a dog and it’ll allow your tension-filled pet to go to town as much as his little heart desires, humping away until he passes out in exhaustion, leaving a wispy coil of friction-singed dog-fur smoke wafting into the air.

I find this ashtray very disturbing!

Okay, so some nerd created a pretty cool backpack - but read the comments, they are the really interesting part.

By Gandalf’s beard! this guy just staked our entire evolution and history of art on the backpack he made. hey dude, by all means, wear your backpack and live for the attention it earns you, not sure the future of our species is riding on it tho…. flight, splitting the atom, beethoven, da vinci, and Bitchin D&D Dragonpack!!! not really in the same league.

But imagine how it will look when your batsuit is all done!

now go shoot up your highschool

How can people get so hyped up about a … backpack?

or would you really ask for this at a drugstore?

The Big Boy - Package Appearance Enhancer

More embarrassing products at shopinprivate.com

Puppetry of the Penis: The Ancient Australian Art of Genital Origami [ILLUSTRATED]

“I didn’t know men’s genitals could be so thrilling without a vat of wine and disco lighting.” — Graham Norton

Santa’s Redneck Restroom

A finely detailed 10″plastic outhouse that shakes, rattles and rolls as the occupant (aka Bubba Claus) lets out any one of 10 “toots”‘ and funny “outhouse” phrases, including:

No wonder everybody hates fruitcake!

Do you smell what I smell?

Time to unload Santa’s bag!

Charming.

Hasbro Tooth Tunes

Listen to MP3s while brushing your teeth