Joey’s Spanking Paddles

Calibrating your paddle:
Before applying paddle to a child you should determine the force of your swing.
There is only one way to measure effectively - swat yourself on the rump and adjust your swing appropriately.

I’m not sure what’s funnier - the idea of “calibrating” a wooden paddle or the idea of some loser smacking his own ass with it.

Suggested Punishment Guidelines

1 Swat	2 Swats	3 Swats	4 Swats	5 Swats
Disrespect	Cursing	Cheating Lying Direct Defiance	Stealing	Endangering someone’s safety. Taking Drugs. Smoking. Drinking.

Shit, that’s at least 13 swats a day for me!

After punishment is served: Give your child a hug and tell them that you love them!

And if your child replies with: “Gee thanks, you violent motherfucker!” you’ve got the perfect reason for giving them at least another 20 swats with Joey’s Spanking Paddle!

This entry was posted on Monday, July 2nd, 2007 at 11:32 pm and is filed under You've gotta be kidding. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.